off-my-chest

Presumption ~ The acceptance of something as true although it is not known for certain.

It is dangerous to make presumptions about people without knowing first all the facts. Folk make presumptions every day, sometimes they can be pretty close to the reality but other times couldn’t be further from the truth. It was a remark someone recently said to me that got me thinking about how dangerous it can be to make presumptions about people based on information they choose to share, how they look outwardly, how they dress, how they act and so on.

So many of us are adept at putting on a façade in life ~ pretending to be something we’re not. To pretend to be happy when you are sad, comfortable within your own skin when in reality you are suffering from a possible myriad of different issues such as body or gender dysphoria, sexual orientation, depression, anxiety, chronic illness to name but a few.

It has taken me many years to finally feel I have reached a place in life where I feel comfortable with who I am, warts and all. The journey of learning to be happy within my own skin alongside my illnesses has been a major learning curve. I flounder at times, I’m only human but mostly I am managing.

Blogging was a suggestion of one of my therapists, I was majorly dubious about it because I wondered what on earth I could write about. I worried about sharing my thoughts because it would leave me wide open and vulnerable to ridicule. Funnily enough, once I got started  this was not an issue and instead I have received warmth and support via messages and comments, which give me support and affirmation that honestly, I was okay, who knew?

So I share with you and I write about what comes up in my life, how I feel about it. That’s it mostly, just episodes of my life written into a blog. It is also a great way to  reach out to others who may find themselves in similar situation.

Someone once said to me, and I quote…

“You and I have a very different ethos towards dealing with life, which is why you know nothing about mine over the past 10 years and I am aware of most of yours.”

For someone to make that step to say that they knew most of what was going in my life because I write a blog to my mind was a huge presumption on their part which felt like a negative critical judgement. Each to their own, I fully understand that it’s not for everyone to write about their life and publish it for all to see. I know I share a lot of my life, feelings, highs, lows, good times and bad with you all, and that is my choice.  I find sharing immensely empowering and cathartic. I appreciate all the messages I receive and/or comments left for me on the blog. It connects me to others who are experiencing similar life events. BUT I would never expect anyone to presume they knew me through reading my blog. My blog is a window into aspects of my life, my history, my journey ~ however, it is only a window, it doesn’t share all the nitty gritty. To be honest some things have to be left unwritten, private, contained within the realms of the inner sanctum. We all have our vulnerabilities and whilst I share many, I don’t share all. For some reason the comment about someone presuming to know most of my life over a ten year span angered me and told me an awful lot about how this person had severely misjudged me. What surprised me was that it was someone I thought would have known me far better.

Blogs for the most part are snippets, specific scenes from a life movie ~ issues which are selected to either raise awareness or part of a personal life journey which the writer chose to share. I am very aware that there is a lot left unsaid, unwritten and kept private. I would never, ever, presume to know anyone just by their writing.

Similarly, folk make presumptions about disability or illness. I have a blue badge and a disability sticker on my car. I wear supports and sometimes have to use a stick or crutches for support when out walking. I have one sticker on the front and back windscreen of my car that reads..

not-all-disabilities-are-visible

I felt it necessary to install these stickers in my car after having too many folk look at me when hobbling from the car, parked in a disablity spot to the shop or wherever it was I needed to go. It appears many people feel that only the old or those in a wheelchair are eligible for these spots.

So that is all, I have had a wee vent and feel far better for it. I haven’t resolved anything or really passed on any real nuggest of information. Let’s just say, sometimes just getting these things off your chest enables you to be able to put it to bed and move on. So, here I am, moving on, not presuming anything about others because as my good old mum always said “you can never judge a book by it’s cover”. Ain’t that the truth.

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