I loathe the word diet, it speaks to me of deprivation, misery and irritation. I start salivating at the sight and smell of all food stuffs, whether I like it or not, it’s ridiculous.
However, at my first rheumy appointment the Consultant, who was incredibly lovely by the way, asked me to be serious about losing weight. He joked about he knew he was overweight too and that he ought to look at practising what he preached. However, jokes aside, my health is poor and declining, my ability to do mundane daily activities is become more limited. My ability to walk any distance is poor and anything further than door to door requires stick or crutches, plus many rests. I can’t clean my house, and hoovering puts me in bed for days, then stupid stuff like hanging out the laundry on the washing line is like running a marathon. It is beyond frustrating.
I took in all my lovely doctor said to me, the risks to my kidneys which are grumbling at me, my joints which are screaming in pain and the high risk of diabetes (family history plus had gestational diabetes) were but a few points he discussed ~ my health issues run to rather a long list so won’t bore you with them. Losing weight would help reduce the strain on my poor old body and give it more of a chance to function to it’s best ability.
I made him a promise in that office, that I would lose 4 stone! Fuck me, why did I do that! So I have made a start and almost lost the first stone already *bang the gong and celebrate* I know weight falls of faster initially and I know it will be more of a slog the closer I get to my target, but still happy with success thus far.
Dieting is tough, I’m a foodie, I love my food but also realise that if I am to help myself I have to harness some willpower ~ and hunker down and just go for it.
It’s a real bugger, I can’t exercise, my body just laughs at me and spits in my eye when I try ~ it’s rotten like that. SO, I have had to go on a very low calorie diet ~ I have downloaded a fabulous app called “Lose it” ~ not sure if it doubles up meaning losing my mind as well as the excess pounds, but it’s a very useful tool for me. It scans food labels and works out my calories consumed, plus it creates a little graph of weight loss and insights on how much fat, sodium etc I am consuming too. After a while it will then show me if I have any patterns to my eating that I was unaware of, little things that may help.
I am finding it reasonably okay now after having a word and bargaining with myself. I am going to allow myself a cheeky wine or whiskey two nights a week. Plus one night a week I can have a really lovely dinner, so long as I eat following the strict low calorie protocol the rest of the time. By compromising this way I know I can then maintain this programme. If I didn’t allow myself the odd tipple or steak dinner I know I would completely lose the will to continue and end up back at square one.
So, after 3 weeks I am almost a whole stone lighter!! That means only 3 more to go (and possibly another after that depending on how I look and feel). I am in two holes on my belt and my clothes feel a little looser. PLUS, my double chin is slowly receding!
I am still awaiting the follow up to my bloods and my next appointment with my rheumy, the service is woefully understaffed and so waiting times are extremely long between appointments. I hope by the time I see him the weight loss will be noticeable and that any issues regarding my kidneys can be stabilised or even improved with this new regime.
Saying that, yesterday I had a curry and dairy milk washed down with red wine ~ I’m not perfect! Today though, back on the low cal diet, black coffee and porridge made with water for breakfast and soup for lunch. Having that blip was good for the mind and soul, it caressed me and said “there, there, you can do this, just have this night”. So I did!
If anyone has any good very low calorie recipes then please holla and send them on over to me ~ plus any good top tips to keep the willpower strong! The force is weak within me and it needs toughening up. Currently I am eating sugar free jellies as snacks between meals to appease my sweet tooth, but any other suggestions are welcome. I can totally relate to the cookie monster below right now…
So, back on it after my blip yesterday, which was so good, to my low fat, low sugar, low carb, low alcohol, low food diet! *sigh*
Hoping my cankles become ankles in the not so distant future and that my belly becomes one roll and not two. Off now to demolish a jelly and down a pint of water, thinking going to have noodles for tea…