I have just found out something deliciously wonderful and I wanted to share my news with you ~ and also my dilemma.

Not long after launching my fundraising page raising funds for SV2, a charity who advocate and  help victims of sexual violence, some wonderful anonymous person donated £100 to my page.

donation 1

I have written two previous blog posts with information why I am supporting SV2, one called “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow” and another called “What, Where, When, Why?“.

Today I found out who that person was, it is the fabulous Liz F. we met through a Facebook support group. Then became good friends ~ although our contact is mostly through the virtual medium we are what I consider to be true friends. This fabulous lady lives in France but we have managed to meet in real life too. All I can say about her is that she is one of the most genuine souls I have ever met, kind, empathetic, loving, understanding and so much more.

So, why am I torn?

I’m torn because Liz has given me a “get out of jail card” and said that she is more than happy for me not to go through with the head shave and instead suggested for me to ask for donations to keep my hair on my fundraising page.

The reasoning behind this generous gesture is that she understands how poorly I am right now as we share a mutual chronic illness. Liz is concerned that the head shave on top of my already cruddy physical health may tip the balance towards the darkside for me, which my husband is concerned about too. For me I acknowledge it is a risk and I am prepared to make it.

So, my first thought to the offer to keep my hair was YES! Then the thoughts swirling around my head were but even though I am a *cough* sturdy woman and I will look like a beach ball with a face when I have no hair, especially without my long fringe to hide behind and soften my pudgy cheeks. I feel somehow obliged to go through with my commitment and promise to shave off my hair.

I would have liked to have raised the full £300 for the charity and not yet reached my total. To those who have sponsored me, thank you so very much, I appreciate every penny you have donated and am exceptionally grateful to you for your support. To those who haven’t ~ do you have a fiver to spare *cheeky smile* pretty please with a cherry on top?

To my friend, you are incredible, truly a wonderful human bean! Your donation has meant the world to me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your “get out of jail” card. However, after some serious mulling it over and talking to my family about it, I have come to the conclusion that I cannot decide either way ~ SO I am opening it up to a public vote.

I know I have low self~esteem and my issue with my weight and the vanity of my appearance are ongoing battles I have with myself. Yet, to become utterly vulnerable in removing my hair and having to face the world as I am, overweight, middle aged and not really rocking the look I feel will somehow give me an insight to how victims feel. Vulnerable, as if everyone can see into their soul and what has happened to them, to feel stamped.

The people in my life never cease to amaze me and yes, surprise me too. I know going forward with or without the head shave on Wednesday that I have a huge wall of love and support around me.

The charity SV2 is the buffer, the cushion, the wall of support for victims, who often have no~one else to turn to. They advocate for them, listen to them, support them and help them make the right choices going forward for them in their own unique situation.

So for me, to lose my hair is nothing in comparison to what the victims have gone through. Having a dent in my vanity is the worst that can happen to me, but I hope it will give me some experience of how exposed the victims of sexual assault feel. Also, hair grows back ~ sexual assaults leave invisible scars.

So, it’s over to you ~ the decision of whether or not I do or do not have hair by the end of the day on November 1st is in your hands. Whatever the majority vote is by midday on Wednesday 1st November is the action I shall take.

To vote just click on this link, it’s as easy as that..

https://strawpoll.com/p9zrg51c

My Fate Is In Your Hands

psssst ~ if you fancy throwing a donation my way for SV2 then please click on the link below and it will take you to my fundraising page.

https://fundraise.charitycheckout.co.uk/svtwo/pf/tanya-mawer

Thank You

x~X~x