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Dream A Little Dream

Posted in Personal Blog, and Photography Blog

Dreams ~ By Langston Hughes

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Dreams and day dreams ~ do you have them?

I’m unable to dream when I sleep due to my medication but I have been partial, especially over recent weeks, of the odd day dream or two.

I hope you enjoyed the Beautiful Souths version of “dream a little dream” which I’ve been listening to via the wonders of Spotify ~ I thought it was rather apt to include it in this blog.

If you have read previous blogs you will know that I’m a person who struggles intermittently with emotional lows and although very well controlled via medication I’m still prone to the odd break through episode.

In recent weeks I have been struggling with my mental health due to severe physical limitations with my body and it’s inability to carry out even the lightest of physical activity demands along with exacerbation of pain and other symptoms.

After a heavy sobbing session, where my body took control to purge itself of all the angst that had been building up behind my dam of a happy façade I was left feeling exhausted but lighter and relieved of the burden. The dam had been broken and the cork popped.

I talked to my husband and that helped, he had just assumed I was doing well with the whole coping thing. Since that episode I have been lying low ~ a few more crying issues and negative invasive thoughts have been dealt with and I have been seeking a solution to my obviously lacking coping practices.

SO, I have found going outside into the garden each and every day for a period of 1 ~ 2 hours, despite the weather, has been effective. We have the old hot tub hut with it’s thatched roof which I can shelter under on rainy days. There are chairs to sit on and I can wrap up in extra layers if it’s cold.

I always take my camera outside with me ~ even though the garden is bereft of insects and flowers that doesn’t limit me. I find pleasure photographing random objects, birds, feathers and anything else I find. Whilst outside I deeply inhale the fresh air and enjoy that wonderful scent. I can hear birdsong at any time of day as the trees and garden is always full of birds, which I love.

Whilst outside, I am planning the garden layout ~ we are re~glazing our greenhouse and creating a large raised vegetable plot so that by the end of March I can get planting. I will also be filling garden pots of insect and bee friendly plants to encourage more wildlife into the garden.

Today we had a friend and builder over to look at the layout of our conservatory, which is large and used currently as a dumping ground, to see how much space can be re~allocated to build a new bedroom and wet room in it’s place. I am thrilled that we can create more space than I thought and have the builder booked in to start work at the end of August / beginning of September and will be complete by the end of the year. I am now brain farting ideas of how to decorate it and make the most of the space ~ we’ll have a garden view with French doors onto the patio. The wet room will have underfloor heating and all the gadgets and aids I may need. PLUS we will get a Queen sized bed so that we have more room with the dogs on the bed with us.

Garden therapy ~ as I call it, has been enormously beneficial to my mental health ~ I wish I could venture further afield but for the foreseeable future I have to accept that I have to be practical and work with what I have. So I am going to take up gardening ~ I’m looking into what vegetables I can grow in my raised vegetable plot and what to grow in the greenhouse. I am also planning where on the patio to put the old garden roller which I am going to hang plants from, possibly strawberries. The water feature just needs wiring in ~ it’s a stone fountain which recycles water and will be on  the corner of the patio and decking area. I’m also planning adding more bright coloured pots around the decking and patio with insect and bee friendly plants in them.

Photography therapy is great too ~ I shoot of hundreds of shots, I’ve been playing with the menu settings, trying to find the ones that suit me the best ~ with all the different lenses too. I have my “idiots guide to” book which I flick through when have enough cognitive wherewithal to take anything in to read up on what I can do with the different menu options.

When I’m not in the garden I have found using my wee Bluetooth speaker invaluable for playing music through ~ it is really helping me maintain a positive attitude. I have various Spotify playlists and change them depending on mood. Often I can be found singing along to it as I surf the web, sit in the garden or just rest. I also use my phone and speaker to listen to audio books ~ which I can just drift away as I focus on the story.

My zen garden has been left dormant over the past few weeks as I have had little interest in anything but I have held onto my mala beads which have given me comfort ~ I hope to get back to mediation and zen gardens soon.

The power of music, fresh air, planning gardening and the new extension plus photography have been my crutch to see me through this latest episode of flare ups of my health conditions and intrusive negative thinking.

The forthcoming week will see me visiting my rheumatology physiotherapist to re~evaluate and see what plan would be best ~ I may re~enter the hydrotherapy sessions or if not start on some gentle home based stretches and exercises.

I thought I would show you a few of my latest garden therapy images and end with a song from one of my playlists which have helped bring back the happy and uplift me. All I can really say from this latest set back is that it’s nothing to be ashamed off and that a way forward can always be found ~ but to share with your loved ones or “person” as Meredith Grey would say, whatever you do don’t let it fester and bottle up like I did.

So now to photos..

Human Family ~ By Maya Angelou

I note the obvious differences
in the human family.
Some of us are serious,
some thrive on comedy.

Some declare their lives are lived
as true profundity,
and others claim they really live
the real reality.

The variety of our skin tones
can confuse, bemuse, delight,
brown and pink and beige and purple,
tan and blue and white.

I’ve sailed upon the seven seas
and stopped in every land,
I’ve seen the wonders of the world
not yet one common man.

I know ten thousand women
called Jane and Mary Jane,
but I’ve not seen any two
who really were the same.

Mirror twins are different
although their features jibe,
and lovers think quite different thoughts
while lying side by side.

We love and lose in China,
we weep on England’s moors,
and laugh and moan in Guinea,
and thrive on Spanish shores.

We seek success in Finland,
are born and die in Maine.
In minor ways we differ,
in major we’re the same.

I note the obvious differences
between each sort and type,
but we are more alike, my friends,
than we are unalike.

We are more alike, my friends,
than we are unalike.

We are more alike, my friends,
than we are unalike.

“You’re so mean, when you talk, about yourself you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
.”

x~X~x

 

 

 

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