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Finding Focus

Posted in Personal Blog

I had an epiphany recently don’t you know ~ what was this sudden revelation I hear you enquire politely, yet curiously?

Well, I have become too reliant on medical science and manufactured prescription medication for my health and well~being, which whilst being a very necessary and vital resource for many folk, such as my husband after his heart attacks ~ for myself I feel there may be other options.

Over the past few years I have become increasingly more dependent on prescription drugs. Initially these worked and helped me immensely. However, insidiously over the past few months, their benefit has dwindled leaving me in increasing levels of pain and discomfort, not to mention open to further kidney function decline as well as varied other worrying side effects.

So, as those of you who know me well will know, I am a huge nature lover, tree lover, all round environment improvement enthusiast and now budding gardener hoping to change my thumb from being black to green!

I have already embraced meditation and mindfulness and have researched and reading up more and more on the wicca and pagan beliefs and life style. This has led me to the decision to come off my prescription medications, continue practising mindfulness and meditation ~ along with working with my rheumatology physiotherapist PLUS creating my own white witch garden and wicca alter. To continue to read and learn how to make my own potions and lotions to heal myself and use the way of the pagan and wicca follower to create my own blend of modern~day white witch based lifestyle and focus.

I am drawn to the focus of the elements earth, fire, water and air, along with following the moon cycles and nature as a way of a belief. To focus my mind away from the pain and chronic illness towards positivity and belief in the age~old belief of home~grown herbs and edible flowers to create my own home made remedies. My garden is being “built” starting this week, with a guy creating my raised vegetable plots and glazing my green house, moving my compost bins and setting up my water~butt. Today I purchased pots and planted herbs plus I have some over the fence troughs with lavender and wild flowers in to attract bees and insects as well as give me the wonderful scents they emit.

I am creating the items for my altar myself, all budget and DIY wherever possible because I love the idea of repurposing my old and now unused items which are gathering dust in my cupboards and sheds. I have painted old bowls with symbols of the elements for my offerings, I will embroider a table~cloth with symbols for my alter cloth and source a piece of an oak tree branch to whittle and make my own wand (following correct procedures as set out via this article.

I have read, as I said before, around this subject and concluded that whilst there are many purists who enjoy and adhere to the old traditional practises, that I choose the more modern approach of creating my own personal modern~day version of the wicca/white witch life style and beliefs. Choosing a blend of what resonates with me and how I want to live my life, I choose to adapt this belief of flexibility within guidelines to make it my bespoke version of a religion if you prefer, although I prefer spirituality and lifestyle.

Presently I am on very small dosages of my medication as I have titrated myself down until I am fully off them to avoid nasty side effects. I have done this process faster than doctors would like but for me the warning kidney pains I’ve had over the past months ~ which since coming down off my medications is improving ~ were more worrying than some pesky side effects. By the end of this next fortnight I will be completely prescription medication free.

If you believe in something enough then you will receive the benefit of that belief. The power of our brains is so much greater than we often give it credit for and I am ready to focus my mind and belief.

I have smudged our house in the past with positive effects ~ belief being a huge player in that result. This has led me to the conclusion that if I believe enough in the result of wicca rituals or spells then that in turn will result in a positive outcome. It is important to me, especially now, that I find a belief system and lifestyle that resonates with how I want to live my life.

My aim is to live in harmony with the planet, nature and wildlife around me. To extend that to making my garden a place full of aromas and plants that encourage wildlife and sustain my soul by gardening, growing and harvesting. To create and build upon my alter and mindfulness area to practice rituals, spells, Zen gardens and meditation to focus my mind on healing my body and mental health.

So, just for those who are unsure ~ my bespoke belief of what wicca or white witch religion and lifestyle I wish to follow is someone who worships not a god or goddess as such but Mother Nature. To celebrate all that belongs to and is the earth and the natural cycles of the year, the moon cycles and seasons. To harness nature and the elements ~ earth, fire, air and water, the planets and their alignments, the sun, the moon, trees, herbs, flowers, crystals and significant rituals and practices. It is thought that whatever you give out ~ good or bad ~ will come back to you threefold and so be careful in your practice and work towards the good instead of focusing on the bad and hexing folk!

I believe in powers we cannot explain, I believe in spirits and karma, in good and evil ~ just not in heaven and hell. I think we all find the belief system and religion that speaks to us and gives us strength and comfort. I do not and will never deride others beliefs as I respect every ones choice to follow the path that resonates with them.

I will read and learn more and more about the wicca beliefs and their spells, rituals and how to harness the power of the moon, the sun, the elements and the offerings from the earth such as herbs, flowers, plants, weeds and trees. I want to learn how to make my own potions and remedies and create a soothing and productive garden and home environment. To find the most natural way to promote health and cut pain and regular awful symptoms gifted to my by my chronic illnesses. To find calmness of mind and spirit and the ability to help others around me too.

I don’t believe in “God” as such yet for me I can worship the goddesses who embody my belief if that is the name given to them.~ something I can understand and believe in and if this is classed as a Goddess then I shall respect that classification and respect this Goddess accordingly.

This means that I will focus my thanks to the following goddesses..

Maiden Goddess ~ embodies the freshness of spring

Earth or Mother Goddess ~ as the name says, the goddess of the earth and it’s bounty.

Crone Goddess who is the Wicca goddess of death, rebirth and wisdom.

Triple Goddess ~ the Goddess in three aspects ~ as a young woman, a birth~giving matron, and an old woman (Maiden~Mother~Crone).

Moon Goddess ~ the name again is explanatory, following the moon cycles and celebrating it.

There are other gods and goddesses but the above are the ones I will thank and focus on personally.

I have worked on items to create my altar and have repurposed 4 stainless steel bowls as offering bowls for earth, fire, air and water. I have painted an old plate with the Pentacle symbol and am in the process of sorting out my purple altar cloth. I have a bell but still need a few other items. I have planted my herbs and will be growing edible flowers and other plants towards the end of the week once my greenhouse is glazed. I will be making my wand once I have sourced the wood from a local tree. I have crystals which were a gift from my youngest along with a book detailing their healing properties.I am going to slowly collect necessary items and build my altar, along with my garden and reference book collection.

Below are some photos of my offering bowls and herbs ~ along with new sign for my herbs garden table once it’s up. My husband is going to get me a rustic round wooden table to home the herbs on and put a raised lip around it so they don’t fall off and being on a table means that I don’t need to bend down to tend to them. Once the paint is dry the sign and bowls will need a varnish over the paint to seal it.

Exciting, positive times lie ahead. I have much to learn and that is part of the wonderful nature of this big spiritual beginning and adventure. My belief is that life should be spent practising what you believe and living in the way that promotes happiness, health and spirituality ~ it’s taken almost 50 years to find my way but that was time wasn’t wasted but instead knowledge building on what makes me tick, what feeds my soul and what ultimately brings me happiness..

Also, for no other reason than I love wolves and so find this utterly cooler than cool ~ my spirit soul symbol is a wolf as I was born in the month of May.





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