Skip to content

Love is a Many Splendored Thing

Posted in Personal Blog

Love is a many-splendored thing,
It’s the April rose that only grows in the early spring,
Love is nature’s way of giving a reason to be living,
The golden crown that makes a man a king.
Lost on a high and windy hill,
In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,
When our fingers touch my silent heart has taught us how to sing,
Yes, true love’s a many-splendored thing.

Valentines Day is every day in our house, we love fully and completely unconditionally each and every moment of every day. We love differently depending on who it is ~ friend, extended family, husband, son, daughter, pet.

This love was shown to me recently by one of my daughters, my husband and the dogs ~ I had a moment of overwhelming sadness and despair and started to cry with my entire body jolting with each and every sob. It was primal and raw ~ it made my eyes stream, my nose run and my chest heave ~ it engulfed me and I couldn’t stop. I cried heartily for about 3 hours, every time I thought it was easing it came again with another wave of fierce emotions.

Memories of my daughters laughing, running and playing freely without a care and without sadness ~ at a time of innocence prior to illness. This filled me with anger at the universe for dumping on them and taking all of that away. I was mad that I couldn’t do more, frustrated at my body for not complying with the messages I was sending it. To be literally housebound with the exception of the odd planned excursion made me unbearably sad. I used to work with Dave, we make a fantastic team and worked well together. I want to be doing that again, to take some of the load off his shoulders, instead he works, shops and cooks ~ he has his load and has taken mine on too.

I want to walk the dogs, to clean the house in just one morning instead of asking the girls and doing bits in broken down segments throughout the week. I want to cook, to bake, to shop and to have a clean, tidy, welcoming house ~ dinner cooked and on the table, laundry folded and distributed, rooms clean and dusted ~ not too much to ask, is it?

So I sobbed, the dogs sat on me and licked away my tears, my husband and daughter hearing the wracking sobs came in unsure as to why I was so upset ~ they asked me what they could do  ~ laughing whilst crying I told them nothing except to take the piss out of me and make me laugh. They did just that and allowed me to slowly lose steam the sobs ebbing away to the odd hiccup and sniffle.

I have to say, afterwards I was exhausted but felt lighter, I had bottled up so many emotions that they had built up to the point where I couldn’t contain them anymore. Dave said he had wondered at how well I appeared to be coping with all my different diagnoses and the fact the I will always hold weight due to the medications I need in order to function at any level at all.

For me the unfairness of our situation just kept rising in me, the anger, the despair the unrelenting health issues. However ~ as always, Dave being my voice of reason, reminded me of how lucky we are, how much we have achieved together and what a solid couple we are despite everything. Our love has helped us through and made us closer, stronger and more of a unit than every before. He is almost part of me now ~ and me him ~ we have been in each others lives for so long that we can’t remember a time without.

To have that reassurance and love means more than any words could ever convey ~ life isn’t always how you want it but it is what you make it.

Since that day I have made a point of getting outside ~ camera in hand ~ into the garden, no matter the weather. Just inhaling the fresh air, watching the dogs romp and listening to bird song lift my spirits. I love to watch the birds but they often don’t come down whilst I’m outside because of the dogs. In the summer, the dogs lie on the decking snoozing or by my feet on the grass and the birds come down undisturbed by them.

I call this time out each day my “garden therapy”, if it’s raining I stand under the hut ~ if it’s cold I layer up. Each and every day I go outside, I take photos of nothing much but just for the pleasure of it. I look forward to warmer days when I will have tubs of insect and bee friendly flowers and will enjoy critter watching. I have a photo “garden therapy” blog to follow.

The song at the end of this blog is one that I heard first on the Graham Norton show and Jacks voice just grabbed me ~ I now have a play list on spotify dedicated to him. The words of the song are perfect for me and Dave.

BUT before that ~ just in case you are interested. How did Valentines Day cards and indeed the day itself arise?

Being a cheat because of that damn brain fog I copied and pasted..

The first evidence of Valentine’s Day having romantic connotations came in the 14th Century, through the poetry of Geoffrey Chaucer. “For this was on St. Valentine’s Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate,” the English poet wrote to honour the engagement of King Richard II and Anne of Bohemia.

I have issues with the big commercial holidays because it’s just another ploy to separate us from our hard earned pennies and buy a load of tat or expensive presents to show someone that we love them.

I would hope that those I love know this regardless of what day of the year it is. However, I’m not a complete grump ~ I do enjoy celebrating if it’s heartfelt and not purchased.

Every year myself and my husband make each other a card, they are very random and the contents vary widely year on year. This year Dave had left creating his ’til the last minute but when I opened it I laughed so much at the completely ridiculous face Dave was pulling in a photo he put on the front of the card.

Whilst we are on the topic of Valentines cards ~ I decided to google the origins of this tradition of swapping cards. My brain isn’t up to much today ~ bit foggy and cognitively challenged and so I will copy and paste the results of my search below..

“Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate romance and love and kissy-face fealty. But the origins of this festival of candy and cupids are actually dark, bloody — and a bit muddled.

Though no one has pinpointed the exact origin of the holiday, one good place to start is ancient Rome, where men hit on women by, well, hitting them. From Feb. 13 to 15, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. The men sacrificed a goat and a dog, then whipped women with the hides of the animals they had just slain.

The Roman romantics “were drunk. They were naked,” says Noel Lenski, a historian at the University of Colorado at Boulder. Young women would actually line up for the men to hit them, Lenski says. They believed this would make them fertile.

The brutal fete included a matchmaking lottery, in which young men drew the names of women from a jar. The couple would then be, um, coupled up for the duration of the festival — or longer, if the match was right.

The ancient Romans may also be responsible for the name of our modern day of love. Emperor Claudius II executed two men — both named Valentine — on Feb. 14 of different years in the 3rd century A.D. Their martyrdom was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St. Valentine’s Day.

Later, Pope Gelasius I muddled things in the 5th century by combining St. Valentine’s Day with Lupercalia to expel the pagan rituals. But the festival was more of a theatrical interpretation of what it had once been. Lenski adds, “It was a little more of a drunken revel, but the Christians put clothes back on it. That didn’t stop it from being a day of fertility and love.”

Around the same time, the Normans celebrated Galatin’s Day. Galatin meant “lover of women.” That was likely confused with St. Valentine’s Day at some point, in part because they sound alike.

As the years went on Chaucer and Shakespeare romanticized it in their work, and it gained popularity throughout Britain and the rest of Europe. Handmade paper cards became the tokens-du-jour in the Middle Ages.

Eventually, the tradition made its way to the New World. The industrial revolution ushered in factory-made cards in the 19th century. And in 1913, Hallmark Cards of Kansas City, Mo., began mass producing valentines. February has not been the same since.

Today, the holiday is big business: According to market research firm IBIS World, Valentine’s Day sales reached $17.6 billion last year; this year’s sales are expected to total $18.6 billion.

But that commercialization has spoiled the day for many. Helen Fisher, a sociologist at Rutgers University, says we have only ourselves to blame.

“This isn’t a command performance,” she says. “If people didn’t want to buy Hallmark cards, they would not be bought, and Hallmark would go out of business.”

And so the celebration of Valentine’s Day goes on, in varied ways. Many will break the bank buying jewellery and flowers for their beloveds. Others will celebrate in a SAD (that’s Single Awareness Day) way, dining alone and binging on self-gifted chocolates. A few may even be spending this day the same way the early Romans did. But let’s not go there.”

For us tonight will be a regular night in as we will do what we do every day, just without the exchanging of cards. Just by coincidence we are going out for “date night dinner” tomorrow ~ something we try to do at least fortnightly. Hopefully it will be nice and quiet as I presume most people will be dining out tonight.

So to all of you reading this I wish a happy Valentines Day from me to you, with a cherry on top.

Candlelight ~ Jack Savoretti

Play with me,
Do what you want with me
You won’t see me putting up a fight
Look at me
Look what you’ve done to me
Never let me go after tonight
This feeling that I feel
I don’t wanna hide
Candlelight is how I like to see you
Say my name
In the darkness it’s not the same
So come and kiss me
Before the sun goes down
‘Cause in the darkness
it’s not the same, it’s not the same
Promise me, you’ll wake up next to me
A lifetime, forever and a day
Stay with me, don’t let our memories
Take from us the love we have today
This feeling that I feel
I don’t wanna hide
Candlelight is how I like to see you
Say my name
In the darkness it’s not the same
So come and kiss me
Before the sun goes down
‘Cause in the darkness
it’s not the same, it’s not the same
I don’t wanna hide, I don’t wanna hide
I don’t wanna hide
It’s not the same
I don’t wanna hide, I don’t wanna hide
I don’t wanna hide
Send the night away
Send the night away
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Send the night away
Send the night away
Oh-oh-oh-oh
This feeling that I feel
I don’t wanna hide
Candlelight is how I like to see you
Say my name
In the darkness it’s not the same
So come and kiss me
Before the sun goes down
‘Cause in the darkness
it’s not the same, it’s not the same
I don’t wanna hide, I don’t wanna hide
I don’t wanna hide
It’s not the same
I don’t wanna hide, I don’t wanna hide
I don’t wanna hide
Candlelight is how I like to see you
Say my name
In the darkness it’s not the same
So come and kiss me
Before the sun goes down
‘Cause in the darkness
it’s not the same, it’s not the same

Songwriters: Jack Savoretti / Joel Laslett Pott
Candlelight lyrics © BMG Rights Management (Uk) Ltd., CHRYSALIS MUSIC LTD

Publication1_LI (2)

x~X~x

Be First to Comment

Let's connect I'd love to hear from you..

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: