What drives you to do the things you do? What makes you have those firm beliefs? Why do you fall short of your goal or reach it and then lose it again?
The Mind is a curious beast ~ our brains serve us according to what we have learnt, what we have done repeatedly becomes a habit.
We don’t have to follow the mindset of the past, the secret is in finding someone to help you unlock the mind, delve into it and reorganise the thought processes that may not be serving you the best in life. We need to get in there and dig out the rubbish and reprogram what is left.
Recently I visited a Hypnotherapist for weight loss ~ I soon learned that the term “weight loss” is a negative thought process. Instead we have to imagine ourselves releasing the excess which is no longer required and so use the term “weight release” instead. Immediately in saying that I need to release some weight I have a more positive attitude towards the process.
The trick is to understand my body, my mind and my stomach. To understand the sensation and recognise the signals which tell me when I feel truly hungry. To only eat when my stomach tells me to. To ensure I stay hydrated by drinking water and not to eat Just becuase it’s breakfast / lunch / tea time.
So, instead of eating at regular meal times I am eating when I feel hungry. Sometimes that may not be until mid afternoon ~ and when I do eat I make sure it is something healthy and fresh and stop when I am full. As I am still learning I often give myself too much food and end up saving what is left for the next meal.
By doing this I have released a stone so far and my new jeans are falling down! I now have decided to stop weighing myself and using my clothes to show me the progress I am making.
My yo~yoing of weight going down ~ feeling happy, going up feeling lousy has been a cycle for too many years. The help from my hypnotherapist and mind coach is learning to understand why I got caught up in these patterns of behaviour and how to turn things around and wind up that yo~yo.
I have never had mind coaching, plenty of therapy including CBT but not mind coaching.
If like me you don’t quite know what this is then I’ll help you out by quoting the definition taken from my therapists website..
“Mind Coaching is the application of neural techniques to help change your subconscious mind towards what you wish to achieve. The use of NLP, Hypnosis and other therapies can guide your mind towards your attainment of life goals in a more focused and speedy manner, allowing you to get to your goals much faster than through normal routes.“
I have only had two sessions so far, in the initial appointment we discussed my goals, what I wanted to change and why, after some advice regarding my journey ahead I had my virtual gastric band fitted. I remember immediately after waking from hypnosis how tired I felt and also how calm my mind was.
I followed instructions on how to care from my new gastric band and found it was very easy to adapt because I could imagine my stomach and how to decide if I was truly hungry or whether I just wanted to eat because of the habit of holding on to meal times. I also have found I adore fruit infused water ~ my water jug is regularly topped up and has orange, lemon and lime slices floating around in it which makes the water slightly sweet and tangy ~ as well as very refreshing.
My second appointment referred back to what we had discussed in the first appointment along with some new light bulb moments and exercises to help me move forward with my transformation.
I have four areas to work on right now and they are.
1. Positive Self Talk
This is something I need to work on. If you think of your subconscious mind being your inner child ~ you need to teach it what you want it to support and how you want it to behave. My inner child wants to protect me and make me happy but sometimes this can mean it directs me towards the fridge to find solace and comfort in chocolate and bread instead of exercise and the fruit bowl.
I need to learn to really honestly no holds barred love myself and mean it! I discovered during this session that I am a “avoider” I avoid looking in the mirror ~ which is why I got myself a dinky compact one to look at myself in for my affirmations instead of using my larger dressing table mirror. So my first task is to practice the mirror exercise to really look myself in the eye, acknowledge my full reflection and talk to myself ~ to teach my inner child that I love myself, I love my body and what it does for me, that I think that I am beautiful, that I am slim and healthy and that I am capable and strong. I has to be in the present tense so that my inner child, the subconscious me, can learn these new thoughts and if repeated daily for twenty~one days it should then become fact. in both my subconscious and conscious minds.
My mirrors around the hose will soon be covered with large post it notes with my positive affirmations on to remind me frequently that I do love myself and to look myself in the eyes at every opportunity and talk through my reflection to my inner child.
2. Motivational Strategy
I need to focus on what my health goals are and to take stock of them regularly ~ this will take my health issues in my previous blog into consideration. By actively bringing together in harmony my physical and mental self.
For me the benefits for making changes are that I am being proactive in optimising holistically my health ~ bringing both body and mind together to progress to a healthier, happier, more confident me. I feel energised and focused, happier for having a path to follow that is positive and hopeful for physically and mentally finding myself in a much better place than when I started. The knock on effect affects my husband and daughters who will be seeing a better version of me, a stronger, more confident me.
3. Mental Imagery
I am hopeless at mentally picturing something ~ no matter how hard I try. I think sometimes you can try too hard and need to take a step back and question why you are having difficulty. For me it is because the idea of seeing, for example a reflection of myself, brings back memories of criticism and angst about the size and shape of myself. My inner child tries to help by switching off that part of my mind and I have am working on switching it back on.
I have a mortal fear of being seen in a swimsuit ~ aside from all the grooming entailed to cut back the swatches of hair swathing my body. I am going to write myself a guided imagery of myself going to hydrotherapy, of getting into my costume, walking out to the poolside, dropping the towel, getting in the pool and the sensation around that ~ to get full imagery I need to include all the senses, to bring them into my story. To go through from arriving to leaving and including everything between. Initially I shall read it to myself and eventually know it by heart to recite to myself daily so that when I do actually have my hydrotherapy sessions my fear will be gone and I will strut in there all confident and sassy, showing of my tush to all who can see it!
Another practice I am working on and if I had a report card it would be “could do better”.
I need to stop going back to what is in the past, what is done is done, I can’t change what has been.
I must not worry about the future as it isn’t here yet.
I must live in the “now” and stop mentally time travelling backwards and forwards in my head stressing about things that are either done or may never be.
I need to focus on now, the present moment. To centre and ground myself to prevent my inner child, my subconscious, from trying to help me and slip me on auto pilot, without conscious awareness.
With regards to releasing my weight I need to wait to practice listening to my stomach and eating only when I am really hungry. I need to drink plenty of water and stay hydrated. I must not focus on the failures of the past to releasing weight only to regain it. I must not worry about the future of pre~empting failure and giving up my good intentions by allowing my inner child to switch me onto autopilot and comfort eat.
When I eat I will eat healthy appetising foods. I will not pile my plate high but have a moderate portion. I will focus on my food and not other surrounding distractions such as the radio or television. I will take small mouthfuls and eat slowly, not shoving it down bite after bite ~ I will allow my taste buds to truly taste, savour and enjoy every morsel. I will allow my stomach to receive it and digest it. I will stop when I am full and avoid that awful stuffed, heavy sensation of eating too much.
My therapist is helping me to make real changes which will be longstanding ~ by looking at how I behave, why I behave that way and how to change my behaviour to help me maximise my potential and succeed where in the past I failed.
Fate perhaps put that random link to Hypnassist in front of my eyes at a time when I was ready to make the changes. Whatever the reason, I am very happy I found them and am working hard to embed the new instructions into my subconscious mind ~ my inner child.
Life isn’t perfect, we’re not perfect but we are all individual, unique and worthy of loving and being loved. My husband has now started on his own journey with the same therapist and already is feeling the benefits of his first session. The mind is a fabulous muscle that needs training and keeping in shape ~ we are on our way to doing this properly with guidance and feel exceptionally positive about our future.
I know I have quoted many a time before ~ but as the great Ru Paul says..
“If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”